


Chances Are All You Get

by Gravityoverthegarden



Category: Kingdom Keepers - Ridley Pearson
Genre: Coming of Age, Gen, I hate Philby's parents, Not Beta Read, Roadtrip, The Return series does not happen, can be read as romantic if you squint, some cursing because they are 18 years old, two bros having a breakdown on a beach talking about the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravityoverthegarden/pseuds/Gravityoverthegarden
Summary: Philby's never been the biggest fan of the beach - the sand gets everywhere and he gets sunburned ridiculously easy. But the beach is a whole other world at night. The white sand effervescent under a full moon on a rare clear night. The waves crashing against the shores falling oddly soft on the ears. They sat directly on the sand because neither of them had the hindsight to bring a towel or a blanket. They didn't talk for a good half-hour, letting themselves become enveloped in this solitary world as the sky begins to lighten."You didn't answer my question earlier," Philby said. Finn's brow furrowed. "Why did you text me?""Can I not just text a friend to go out on a regular midnight adventure?"
Relationships: Dell Philby & Finn Whitman, Dell Philby/Finn Whitman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Chances Are All You Get

Philby wasn't sure what to expect when Finn sent him a text telling him to be prepared to leave within the hour. It was completely out of the blue, and he found the urgency slightly concerning. Philby received a second text telling him that Finn was outside as he was put his laptop in his bag even though he was sure if he was going to need it. They haven't done anything regarding the Kingdom Keepers in months, and if Finn needed to crossover then he would've just told Philby to be ready to do so.

He quietly hurried through the house and opened the front door. He knows that he's an adult now, and Philby can technically do whatever he wants too, but that fact won't stop his parents from being mad that he left the house without telling them.

Finn was parked on the side of the road with the headlights off but the front overhead light on in the cabin. Philby recognized the car as Finn's dad's car, which was an immediate red flag.

"Does your dad know you have his car?" Philby asked as he slid into the passenger seat, putting his bag with his laptop at his feet.

"My dad has the day off tomorrow - he doesn't need it."

Philby paused while he put on his seatbelt; he looked up at Finn with a raised eyebrow. His friend's face looked sunken under the sickly yellow light and bags under his eyes deeper than when Philby went the entire week of senior final exams with only five hours of sleep.

"Why did you text me at shit-o'clock in the morning?"

"I, uh, wanted a change of pace."

Philby nodded. "Where are we going?"

"I- didn't think that far ahead."

"So, why did you text me?"

Finn shrugged, turning off the overhead light, before turning on the headlights and easing out onto the street.

"So, we're just driving?"

"Do you want to go anywhere?"

"Uh, not particularly." Philby had expected Finn to have a reason for a midnight excursion, and he didn't think about what if Finn hadn't.

Finn was quiet for a minute. A Spotify playlist droning barely audible above the engine kept Philby company as Finn thought for the first time since the last time he slept.

"What about the beach? We could watch the sunrise."

"The nearest beach is an hour away."

"And?" Finn glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

Philby nodded - wordless mostly because he's tired. "Let's go."

A streetlight sending a diagonal stripe across Finn's face, and Philby saw a small, light smile gracing his face.

Philby took Finn's phone off the aux cord and plugged in his own. Finn didn't complain when music only slightly different than the playlist he was listening to before Philby got into the car started playing and Philby turned up the audio.

Fifteen minutes of silence passed until they both broke. A song Philby knows they both love started playing. He hummed as Finn tapped his finger against the wheel. But when the first chorus blasted from the speakers, they were both screeching the words at the top of their lungs.

They stopped at a McDonald's with sore throats, and they ate value meals in the parking lot.

"Are you ready for college?" Finn asked between bites of his cheeseburger.

Philby harshly swallowed the chicken nugget he just bit into before speaking. "Yeah, well, I like to think so."

"You think so?"

"I know I'll be able to handle the workload, and I can't wait to leave to leave my parents' house, but I've never lived on my own before," Philby shrugged. He didn't want to admit that he's actually afraid of moving across the country to study at a semi-mythical school among the Disney fan community. Philby knows he won't be alone - Amanda and Jess will still be there for at least his first semester and by the time they graduate, he'll at least be assimilated to the school's environment by then, and being alone won't be such a big problem. Willa will also be attending college an hour away, so he also has her for support when he has time to drive out to see her. 

"That's all you're worried about?"

"There's not much about to be worried about when you've spent your high school years having multiple near-death experiences. Death isn't a particular concern of mine."

Finn snorted as he took a sip of his soda. "Is that it?"

"It's two in the morning. Are you expecting me to be perfectly eloquent?"

"We've also spent years pulling all-nighters and being forced to expend most of our brainpower at night."

"I'm out of practice," Philby shrugged as he ate another chicken nugget. "Are you still taking a gap year? DSI still has the offer for you, right?"

Finn didn't respond immediately. "Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about."

"Did something changed?"

"Uh, no, I mean not really. I've just been thinking."

"Really? You - thinking?"

Finn shoved him into the car door, and Philby laughed. 

"I've been thinking about if I should start college sooner than later, but I don't know if that's what I want, y'know?"

Philby nodded, even though he didn't know. He's always known he was going to college. He didn't anticipate going to a legendary Imagineering school when he making his future plans in middle school.

"And even though I have the offer from DSI, the school's in California, and that's just- really far," Finn said. 

"You know, what if you went to college in Orlando, instead of attending a Disney-related school?"

"I- haven't thought about it. Why are you going to DSI? I thought you'd want to attend a traditional school?"

"I'm thinking about getting a computer engineering degree after DSI. If I'm being honest, I'd rather have Disney use their own money to pay for their own school and pay for traditional school on my own."

"You'll probably get a full ride anyway - Disney money or none."

Philby shrugged. He knows he would - he graduated in the top fifteen of his class, and if it wasn't for their Kingdom Keeper activities earlier in high school, he could've graduated in the top five; he's also have had colleges reach out to him with promises of scholarships, but he didn't respond to them because he'd already settled for DSI. The school is prestigious and open to only a few; Philby would be lying if he doesn't admit that the offer to go to a near-mythical school isn't at least slightly enticing, and from what Amanda and Jess have told him about it, then it's a treasure trove of opportunities for a Kingdom Keeper to be potentially expelled because they don't know how to not pursue the mysteries of Disney.

"Yeah, probably.

Finn raised an eyebrow at him. "Amanda and Jess are both dying under the pressure of their classes - and you think that would be fun?"

"Remember who you're talking to, Lightning Bug," Philby smirked. "I took only dual enrolled and AP classes senior year, and I didn't need half of those credits."

Finn's face fell flat. "Overachiever."

"Knowledge is the greatest reward to receive."

"But it's school."

"Well, I like school, and I'm going to stay try to stay in school for a long time."

"Sounds like hell."

"I consider it self-induced stressed."

Finn pinched the bridge of his nose before putting his trash back into the McDonald's bag. He turned the music back up before putting the car in reverse.

Philby's never been the biggest fan of the beach - the sand gets everywhere and he gets sunburned ridiculously easy. But the beach is a whole other world at night. The white sand effervescent under a full moon on a rare clear night. The waves crashing against the shores falling oddly soft on the ears. They sat directly on the sand because neither of them had the hindsight to bring a towel or a blanket. They didn't talk for a good half-hour, letting themselves become enveloped in this solitary world as the sky begins to lighten.

"You didn't answer my question earlier," Philby said. Finn's brow furrowed. "Why did you text me?"

"Can I not just text a friend to go out on a regular midnight adventure?"

"If you wanted to go on a midnight adventure, then you should've texted Maybeck."

"I wanted to do something chill, and Maybeck would've wanted to do something, uh, not."

"Willa would've been the chiller choice to go with."

Finn shoved him with his shoulder, and Philby couldn't stop himself from laughing.

"Stop overthinking it, Dell."

"So, I'm Dell now, Lawrence?" Philby tilted his head, smirking coyly as he pressed their shoulders together. Finn stared at him blankly, and it took every fiber of Philby's being to not laugh again. He felt weirdly light and not like he hasn't slept in over 17 hours. "But, really, I know I'm usually your last choice for this kind of thing - unless it's for a Kingdom Keeper thing."

Finn turned his head back to the ocean.

"I've been thinking recently about - things."

"Things?"

"Us. The Keepers, really."

"Oh, you've been thinking about me?"

"You're an asshole, Dell." Philby felt oddly warm towards the insult.

"That's just how I show my affection."

Finn turned back to Philby with a light smile, and Philby's heart did something weird. He turned towards the ocean, pulling his shoulder away from his friend.

"What exactly have you been thinking about?"

"Everyone is either leaving or doing something with their life, while I'm doing nothing and I - don't know what I'm going to do for the next year. Like Maybeck's going to school at the art center; Willa's going to UCLA; and you're going to DSI, and you're already planning on attending a traditional school after graduation. You know what you want to do in life - and I'm just doing nothing! I've only done one thing for the past like five years - and I don't know if that's my future!"

Philby listened to Finn rant, curling in on himself. His feet sinking beneath the sand.

"I mean if you take a gap year then you'll have time to decide what you want to do."

"I've heard taking a gap year is good, but my parents don't want me to take a gap year. They want me to go to college in the fall, and they kind of don't know that I still haven't accepted DSI's offer even though the term starts next month, and the school emails me every single day asking for some kind of answer. And I'm now just realizing - that it's just going to be me here. I know Maybeck is staying in Orlando, but he's made a decision - all of you have made decisions and I haven't." 

"Why does that -" Philby bites his lip. "Concern you?"

"I should've made a decision by now." Finn unfurled, kicking out one of his feet from out of the sand. "I'm the - I mean, I was the leader of the Kingdom Keepers, and I didn't help keep us alive by being indecisive. What's the difference in making a decision about going to college and stopping an OverTaker from killing-" Finn choked, wiping his face harshly with his elbow - "one of your best friends?"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Philby picked up a handful of sand and let the sand run through his fingers. He's never dealt with being indecisive. If he was ever indecisive, then he could've gotten his friends killed countless times. He had to be ready with his thoughts in order and his finger on the button the moment his friends needed him. He hadn't thought that Finn would feel the same way, and probably even worse than him because Finn had to watch the other Keepers nearly die while Philby sat alone in his bedroom waiting for his friends to need him to return them.

"Philby?"

He jumped, swiveling his head with enough momentum that he's surprised he didn't get whiplash.

Finn was staring at him - concerned as if he hasn't been having a night long breakdown.

"I'm fine." Philby smiled, which was more of a grimace than a real smile.

"Are you sure?"

"I-" Philby's mind glitched as his eyes met Finn's glistening ones. Philby knows he's an asshole, but could he be an asshole when Finn is willingly opening himself up to him - the most emotionally constipated Keeper? "I understand."

"You do."

"Yeah," he said as if he drank multiple cups of seawater. "About everything, well, almost everything."

Finn blinked silently at him.

"I, uh, do you want me to break down your breakdown bit by bit and tell you how exactly I understand?"

"Kinda."

Philby shoved his hand into the sand, pressing the coarse sand into his skin. "I mean I don't have to talk about my parents, do I? You know how they are - none of the Keepers are a bigger disappointment to their family than I am."

Finn's eyes went wide, and Philby cursed his mouth.

"Anyway! I-"

"No, no, no," Finn tugged on Philby's arm. "We're not just skipping over that."

"I completely believe that we can," Philby silently noted that the sky was starting to turn purple. "We're talking about you, not me."

"That's the first time I've ever heard you not want to talk about yourself."

"Well," Philby made a fist in the sand, "I don't like talking about my emotions."

"I mean I think it's good to talk about this kind of stuff, and I only know a little bit about your parents aside from the fact they grounded you for a solid two months in junior year."

"It was closer to three - I started sneaking out towards the end and they never knew."

"Really?" Finn asked, probably surprised that Philby would actually go against his parents for non-Kingdom Keeper reasons.

"Look, we don't have to talk about my other childhood trauma and my shitty parents; we can talk about how we were just kids who were recruited by Disney to stop villains from taking over their company, and almost died multiple times, and one of our friends did die-" Philby's lip twitched and he felt Finn's hand tense on his arm. "And there was a good chunk of time where I was just the tech guy, and I just had to wait for all of you to return, and I always knew you all would come back, but at the same time - there was always a part of me that was scared that you would be stuck in SBS, that my program and the servers failed, and I would have to figure out how to save you."

"You wouldn't have been alone if that ever happened; you would've had help."

Philby shrugged. "Doesn't matter. If I failed even one of you, then I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself."

"You didn't have to be worried."

"I didn't?" Philby straightened his back, and Finn's hand fell into the sand. "It was my job, Finn. How could I not be worried about your safety when I'm the one who crossed you all over and had to bring you back? I stayed up a lot, even on the nights where I finished my homework early, waiting for a text telling me to bring you back early because you were going to die."

"Philby," Finn placed a hand on his back, "I didn't-"

"It wasn't every night. Just the nights where my anxiety was particularly high - which thinking back, was most of the time. But I'm fine, really, I just- want you to know that you aren't alone in being messed up, but, uh, it's good to take chances, Finn. It's better than doing nothing and winding up worse because of it."

Finn stared at him silently, his head tilted, and his eyes focused on him but somehow unfocused.

"I think I'll accept DSI's offer."

Philby perked up. "Really?"

"What you just said reminded me of something Dillard told me - and, uh, he's right - your right. I need to take chances instead of letting life pass me by just because I can't move on from the past, and if DSI turns out to not be the right decision, then I'll try out a traditional school or find a new path."

"Are you sure?"

"Not really, but it's worth a try, and from what Amanda and Jess told me about DSI, it seems like it'll just be fun - excluding the actual classwork."

"I mean, classwork can be fun."

"We’ll have to see about that."

Philby laughed before they settled back into the sand. The sun peeking its head above the horizon. The waves crashing against the shore came to the forefront of his ears as if nature decided to turn up the volume on the ocean. Philby has always been a person who prefers being indoors - there are fewer bugs and odd, inexplicable smells. He's seen all the beauty of the world on his computer, and he's content with that.

But there's a type of feeling that comes with watching the sunrise after hours of darkness over an ocean whose waves will never stop while sitting next to one of your best friends. The future still blurry, but somehow less scary with the knowledge that you won't be alone for at least a little bit longer. Philby allowed the feeling to wash over him and become one with the moment where they have no need to be afraid for their lives.

The peace was ruined when Finn's phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket. "My dad's asking about his car."

Philby nodded.

"He needs it to go to work in two hours."

They both scrambled to their feet, wiping the sand off of their pants before running to the car. Finn started the car and pulled out of their parking space in record time. They miraculously weren't pulled over by during the drive back to Orlando.

"You know Finn, we should do this again," Philby allowed himself to openly admit to his friend, although stilted, before getting out of the car to walk back into the house he's hoping to never live in again after he goes to college.

"I mean, we're going to be in the same place for at least two years. We'll have plenty of time." Finn's smile comforted him; the tension in his back relaxing before he unclipped his seatbelt and slid out of the car. Philby didn't realize how much it meant to him to have one of his friends stick with him as they head out into the future. Sure, he wouldn't have been completely alone but Amanda and Jess would have been gone before he even reached the end of his first semester. He and Finn won't be alone, and somehow that makes it all the better.


End file.
